Tuesday, February 27, 2007

American Idol Girl Gone Wild:
Antonella Barba Takes it Off

I'll be up front: Since that Hollywood episode where Antonella and her lesser-in-looks-and-voice, flirtaholic sidekick Amanda were unbelievably snotty and derisive and cruel to that blond gal from Texas who kept forgetting her lyrics--oh, yeah-, Baylie Brown--I have wanted both the Jersey girls kicked off A.I.

Hubby and I were delighted when Amanda got booted early. Don't put my God in your nasty little fame-hungry machinations!

In case you missed it, a rambly recap:

Antonella, Amanda, and Baylie were part of the group performance. Amanda and Antonella spent so much time bickering about what song to do, that they wasted valuable practice time. Then, they were really uncooperative with Baylie who was begging for more time to learn the song SHE DID NOT PICK (can we say "sabotage"?). After Baylie got thrown out of the competition (rightly so) for forgetting the lyrics, though the Jersey Flirtsies had something to do with that, they got all pompous on Baylie. Then Amanda, who needs to go back to Sunday School and get some theology refresher, had the fricken nerve to say that Baylie got kicked off cause God let the good people through.

Excuse me? What great evil thing did Baylie do? All I saw was a young gal who looked a bit lost in the bickering and power plays between the Diva Duo.


You don't mock a downed opponent that way. Very bad sportsmanship, even in Jersey, I would assume.

And then, a week later, Antonella delivered that awful, pitchy performance without any evidence that a human soul or personality resided in that well-shaped physique. Bootworthy performance.

She's definitely not a vocal contender. If she keeps getting saved by America, it will be cause she's got looks...and legs.

I suspect she's nailed the Girls-Gone-Wild vote, too. You have heard about the photos that have surfaced of Miss Barba in various states of non-dress and come-do-me expressions, right?

Yeah, thought you'd caught of whiff of the gossip.

But, tell me:

What is the deal with young, attractive American females and displays of slutty vulgarity?

The poses that were once the domain of the seedy underworld, and later of hush-hush men's magazines, are now, what?, the thing every girl with a fetching figure aspires to do?

Miss Barba doesn't need to slut it up to be alluring. God stacked up her up nicely enough that even in ordinary sportswear, the girl will get male attention. Why then strip down, vamp it up, and, if the rumors and pictures are true, take pictures of herself on the potty and during fellatio? What series of thoughts in a woman's mind sayys, "Yeah, this is what I should do!"

This from a gal who was studying architecture and was good enough to make it to the Hollywood portion of A.I.

It still makes me shake my head how easy it is to find nubile young things to flip up their shirts and pull down their undies and lick up their girlfriends assorted parts for the delectation of some degenerates who make millions of dollars selling their pics to a pathetic audience getting a thrill from girls flashing it up and getting down and dirty.

But then, look at the pop music machine. Guys can be tubby and ugly and sells tons of records. Girls have to diet and get fitness trainers and emerge as new Beyonces and prettier Britneys and more underdressed Aguileras and hip-twitching Shakira's in order to get the contract. (We do remember the C&C Music Factory scandal, do we not? And Simon telling the fat gals they just aren't Idol material in the earlier seasons. Never mind that it didn't hurt Ruben Studdard to be obese.)

For a less than stellar looking gal to get the pay-off, she's gotta have a voice way, way beyond the norm. Or fat has to help. Jennifer Hudson gained weight for DREAMGIRLS, cause the part called for a zaftig chick. And right now, of the girls in competition in season six, three of the most talented gals are...yes...of the more abundant fleshiness, ie. not sex bombs.

Guys can just have talent. Women have to have cleavage and tight butts and come hither moves in their videos. Look at Fergie. Look at Nelly Furtado. Look at Britney (before she went wacko), Madonna, Pink, Christina, Mariah. And Jennifer Lopez, whose vocals are limited, to say the least, got a boatload of assistance from that photogeneic face and sex appeal. And the famous backside. Can you imagine an actor being most famous or talked about for having an abundant behind? But an actress/singer, yeah. (Notice her hubby does fine looking bony, sickly, and bloodless. Could we see Jennifer doing fine if she gained 100 pounds and her hair thinned out to near baldness?)

So, Antonella Barba has pretty much done what it is that is expected of her as an aspiring female pop singer: be an object of desire. It worked for Madonna and a string of singers who started out with some clothes on and attired themselves progressively skimpier, along with nastier posturing. Pull that skirt higher, yank that bustier lower, and pose au naturel for some cover (Rolling Stones, GQ, FHM) or for your own cd pics or sex book.

Although, depending on how dirty you get, it could get you booted off A.I.

How schizo is that?

What's sad is that the only reason Antonella Barba might regret posing half-nude, nude, or in flagrante delicto is the lost chance to make big bucks as a pop music princess.

Ultimately, though, I wouldn't have voted for her. The voice is just not impressive. And her behavior towards Baylie left me furious.

Me, I'm rooting for the ladies who can sing up a whirlwind and still keep their knickers on in front of cameras.

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