Tuesday, October 10, 2006

"Runaway Bride" Should Run Away Again...And Stay Lost This Time.

Warning, this is Mir ranting. It's not compassionate or merciful. It's downright furious. So, be warned:

Jennifer Wilbanks, known as "Crazy Eyes" in MirLand, is suing John Mason, the fiance/almost-groom she put through hell not that long ago.

Know what. Put me on the civil jury. Please. Because I want to make sure this loonybag doesn't get one penny. And I don't even care of he did abuse power-of-attorney. (Not saying he did, just saying don't much care.) Why? She made this guy think she was being beaten or raped or heaven knows what by ruthless kidnappers? She ground her family down emotionally to a nub for day after day. She set-it-up so it was inevitble that cops would get involved. She made me and quite a lot of America waste some prayer time that could have been put to better use. My time...my prayers...

Please, Mr. Judge and Jury, order her to stop smoking crack or diet pills or wild mushrooms or whatever the heck this woman is dumping into her bloodstream that makes her do amazingly selfish, stupid things.

If by some chance she does get money, I hope her almost-in-laws and everyone in her community sues her for "emotional distress via fraud" and for time and income lost while searching and worrying about her missing a*@ when she took a hike.

Boo hoo, Jennifer. He got half a million and you didn't.

Well, 500K..let's see, Jenny? Why not consider that compensation for your ripping his groom-heart into little bitty bits of bloody rags? Consider it restitution. Consider it a bit of penance.

And yeah, I'm still ticked off at you for making us all a bit more cynical when we read about missing people.

I can only think that Mason is very lucky he didn't marry Crazy Eyes Wilbanks. Even if he doesn't keep all the moolah, even if some dodo court gives her a cut, he still comes out ahead by not having said, "I do," to the Runaway Egotist.


Matt Mikalatos said...

Okay, Mir. I will be your jury selection coach. Here's how you get on a jury.

Lawyer: What do you think about Jennifer Wilbanks?

Mir: Who?

Lawyer: The so-called "runaway bride"?

Mir: I thought that was whats-her-name in the Richard Gere movie.

Lawyer: Okay, you're in!

Mirtika said...

Are you saying, Mr. Mikalatos, that I should....fib? :)

Mir<--practicing her wide-eyed, ignorant look