Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Two Very Bad SF Story Openers

A hat tip to Christy Award Super-champ, Karen Hancock, who posted on the sci-fi and fantasy winners in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Awards:

The fantasy fiction winner:

It was within the great stony nostril of a statue of Landrick the Elfin Vicelord that Frodo's great uncle, Jasper Baggins, happened to stumble upon the enchanted Bag of Holding, not to be confused with the Hag of Bolding, who was quite fond of leeks, most especially in a savory Hobbit knuckle stew. - Camille Barigar, Twin Falls, ID

And the science fiction winner:
"Send a message back to Command Central on Earth and ask for their advice, which we will be able receive immediately even at this great distance, thanks to the ingenious manipulation of coherent radiation through a Bose-Einstein condensate and the bizarre influence of the Aspect effect, which enables us to impart identical properties to remotely separated photons," Captain Buzz told the feathered Vjorkog at the comms desk, "and tell them our life-pod is going to explode in eight seconds." - Christopher Backeberg, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa

If that sci-fi entry didn't make you bark with hilarity, something's wrong with ya.

Or me, Barking Mir, aka, Mistress of the Purple Pen of Editing Doom.


Anonymous said...

God, I think I've been hanging out on writer's forums too long. Except for the missing word in the sci-fi entry, I thought they were both pretty okay. I even checked some of the other "dishonorable" mentions. To me, it's more humor writing than bad writing.

Really bad writing doesn't make you laugh, it makes you shake your head sadly while basking in a sense of literary superiority.


Mirtika said...

Yes, it works as parody. Which is what the contest is, a parody of bad writing.


Elliot said...